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• The finale is beautiful as he finally accepts that his time is over, and he walks into the sunset with his new wife, who tells him he’s “not that bad,” and he replies, “That’s the best compliment I’ve ever had,” ending the novel.

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• His midlife crisis sees him buying a vintage jousting lance and trying to ride the Tube with it, causing a major inconvenience.

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• Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant diamond and wears it on his crown, but it gets stolen, and he blames the French, starting a minor diplomatic incident.

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• Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a musical that portrays him as a monster, and he spends the whole intermission arguing with the actors about their “artistic license.”

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• Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a “Henry VIII” breakfast cereal, and he tries to sue for using his likeness.

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• The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him be her personal butler for a day, and he has to polish her shoes.

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• Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to become a pastor, but his first sermon is about how great he is, and the congregation leaves.

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• Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a blessing from a priest and argues with him about tithes.

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• Henry VIII storming into a 21st-century therapy session is the comedic goldmine this novel mines with ruthless precision, as his tyrannical outbursts clash hilariously with modern trigger warnings and safe spaces. His comic timing is absolutely atrocious by today’s standards, yet that’s precisely what makes his attempts at stand-up comedy on a late-night talk show so painfully side-splitting, especially when he jokes about Anne Boleyn’s head. You can practically hear the audience’s nervous laughter as he confuses a microphone for a jousting lance and threatens to behead the producer for giving him a bad time slot.

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• Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the concept of “seconds” and demands a third, fourth, and fifth helping.

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• Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “golden buzzer” on a talent show, but he gets all red buzzers instead.

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• Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he realizes he is a villain in most history books, and he tries to write his own, but nobody buys it.

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• Ego and power are on full display when he tries to get his old crown back from the Crown Jewels exhibit, claiming it’s “royal property,” and the guards have to explain that it belongs to the nation, which he simply cannot comprehend.

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• Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to become a monk to escape his problems, but the monastery kicks him out for being “too argumentative.”

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• The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his microwave because it didn’t heat his food evenly.

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• Money and extravagance are his downfall when he buys a private island thinking it’s his new kingdom, only to realize it’s a bird sanctuary and he is not allowed to build a palace, so he tries to declare war on the seagulls.

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• Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to force his eldest son to marry a Russian oligarch’s daughter, but the son is in love with a street performer, leading to chaos.

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• Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to run for parliament, but she runs a flower shop instead.

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• The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to ride a mechanical bull and gets thrown off immediately, breaking his tailbone and blaming the bull for being “unpatriotic.”

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• Vanity and portraiture are taken to new heights (or lows) when Henry commissions a holographic statue of himself that projects a 50-foot-tall image of him in his prime over London, terrifying the populace and disrupting air traffic. He spends countless hours trying to get his “good side” on security cameras, and he forces the National Gallery to hang his new, absurdly flattering portrait right next to the Mona Lisa, causing an art world scandal. This modern take on royal portraiture is a scathing critique of his narcissism, showing that his desire for visual dominance is as strong as ever, just technologically upgraded.

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• The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British version of the French Open, but it just rains the whole time.

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• Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” themed escape room, and he tries to solve it but just gets angry and breaks the door.

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• The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French actor and boos him so loudly that he gets thrown out of the movie theater.

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• Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to marry off his daughter to a prince, but the prince turns out to be a con artist who just wants his royal memorabilia.

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• Henry’s tyrannical demands make him try to force the local pub to only serve mead, and when they refuse, he threatens to have them burned at the stake, which earns him a lifetime ban from the establishment.

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• Fatherhood and succession become a modern nightmare as Henry discovers that his only surviving heir, Elizabeth I, is now a historical figure who is more popular than he is, and he tries to convince a random distant relative to change his name to Edward to secure the throne. His attempts to groom a successor are sabotaged by his own paranoid jealousy, as he sees every young man as a potential threat, leading to a series of awkward interactions with his own great-great-grand-nephews who just want to play video games. The novel weaves a darkly comedic thread about legacy and lineage, showing that his obsession with a male heir was always about his own vanity, not the kingdom.

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