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一人っ子はメンヘラになりやすい説は本当？実体験をもとに解説

Yahoo!知恵袋にて「一人っ子はメンヘラだ」という意見を見つけました。実際のところはどうなのでしょうか。

一人っ子で育った筆者の体験からお伝えすると、一人っ子だからメンヘラになりやすいわけではないと思います。というより、一人っ子は早熟で自立するのが早い傾向にあり、さらに一人で何かをすることが苦になりません。なので、むしろ他人への依存傾向は低いとさえ言えるでしょう。

ではなぜ「一人っ子はメンヘラになりやすい」と言われるのでしょうか。性格的な側面を検証します。

メンヘラの定義は一人っ子の性格的な特徴に当てはまらない

メンヘラとは、「心に何かしら問題（メンタルヘルス）を抱えている人」を指す言葉で、一般的には「精神的に不安定で、依存度が高い」人を称する時に使われます。彼氏への依存傾向が強い女性に対して使われることが多いようです。

メンヘラは一般的に以下のような特徴が挙げられます。

  • 恋人（他者）への依存度が強い
  • 精神状態が未熟で安定しない
  • 承認欲求が強い

しかし、一人っ子育ちはこれには当てはまらないどころか、むしろ真逆の性質があります。

一人っ子は他者への依存しにくい

一人っ子は協調性がないなどとよく言われますが、そもそも他者と何かをするという意識が希薄です。なぜなら、子どものころから「一人で何でもするのが当たり前だから」です。

一人っ子は人間関係に対してドライな方で、一人の状況には幼いころから慣れているので、寂しさを感じる瞬間はあまりありません。

子どもの頃から一人で時間を過ごすのは当たり前。読書や絵を描くなど、一人で完結するような遊びをすることも多いです。（小説家やアーティストは一人っ子が多いと言われています）

こういった環境がスタンダードなので、ほとんどの一人っ子は、いわゆるメンヘラ的な「どこかにいくのも誰かと一緒じゃないと嫌」のような発想には至らないかなと思います。

一人っ子は大人びていると言われることが多く、周りよりも早熟

家庭内で子どもが自分だけという環境なので、幼い頃から自然と大人っぽい振る舞いをするようになります。また読書を好むようになる子どもが多く、周囲よりも大人びていると評されることがよくあります。（学校では先生と距離が近かったりします）

なので、精神状態が未熟で安定しないメンヘラ的な性質とは真逆です。

承認欲求は既に満たされている

一人っ子は親から褒められる機会が多く、承認欲求は既にある程度満たされています。親の愛情を100%受けるというのはもちろん、親にとっても初めての子育てであるというのが大きいと思います。私自身、勉強やスポーツなど些細なことでもよく褒められた記憶がありますし、やはり子どもが1人である分、褒める際に注がれる熱量も大きかったと思います。

筆者の母いわく、「とにかく過剰に期待はしない。健康に育ってくれれば良い」と心底思っているらしく、実際に自分が仕事で上手くいかなくて退職した時なども、一切否定的なことは言われませんでした。

このように他者からの承認を強く求めるような人はあまりおらず、承認欲求が強いというメンヘラ的な性質は見られません。

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口コミ募集中

恋人関係ではメンヘラになりやすい人も

とはいえ、状況によってはメンヘラ的な振る舞いをする一人っ子もいると思います。特に友人関係ではなく、恋人関係ではその傾向が顕著です。

友達がそれほど多くないから

一人っ子はそもそも友達がそれほど多くないというのも影響しています。事実、古い論文ではありますが、アメリカの心理学者Hartup, W. Wの研究によると、「兄弟姉妹の中で最も遅く生まれた人は友達の数も多く、クラスメイトから人気があった。一方、一人っ子は友達の数が少なかった」と結論づけられています。（The social worlds of childhood.）

このことから、一人っ子はそもそも友人が少ないため、恋人ができたらやや依存しがちになってしまうと考えられます。

喧嘩慣れしていないから

一人っ子は兄弟喧嘩などをしませんから、他者と正面からぶつかる経験が欠けています。端的にいうと、喧嘩慣れしていません。そのため、例えば恋人間で喧嘩になった時に、特に女性は振る舞いが過激になったりブレーキが効かなくなったりして、それが男性からするとメンヘラだと言われることもあります。

まとめ

一人っ子はメンヘラ気質という説に対しては、そうではないというのが筆者の結論でした。しかし恋愛面においては、友人の少なさや喧嘩慣れをしていないなど、幼少期の環境が影響して、メンヘラ的な行動を取ってしまう人もいるようです。

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